Home > King of Commenting > King of Commenting Competition: 2010

King of Commenting Competition: 2010

The time has come people, it’s time to show your stripes. It’s time to put your money where your mouths are, putting your creative and critical minds to good use. It’s time for the second annual, King of Commenting Competition.

We are looking to crown the most entertaining, comedic and intelligent reader and present to him/her, their rightful throne.

Here’s how it will work:

From here on out the Not in HD staff will evaluate all of your comments and archive their favorites. The top eight nominees will have the entire month of October (the best month of the year, might I add) to wage their war of words. The King of Commenting Championship matchup will be held the week following the MLB World Series.

No holds barred, gloves off.

Each staff member will have one exemption to hand out, with the other three spots in the competition being nominated based on votes from the entire staff, collectively.

The winner will revel in their new title, establishing Not in HD as the turf he (or she) will reign over for the next year. Just ask Stew Martinez, winner of last year’s title.

Oh and the winner will also be awarded his/her very own champion’s comment blog, which if used correctly will be a post composed of various rips and insults aimed towards the losing competitors. Five hundred words of pure euphoric bliss. And gloating. Lots and lots of gloating.

Anything goes in terms of style and every comment is eligible to be nominated. The more creative the better.

Some suggested strategies: If you write something which will appeal to all of Not in HD’s writers you’ll have a good chance of getting voted into the competition. However if you make a strong push to appeal to one particular staff member, you may find yourself with an exemption – if you are lucky. And be hilarious. That helps too. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but the way to a writer’s heart is through laughter.

Also, while quality over quantity is clearly the way to go – put your best foot forward, hold nothing back and give it a rip – the more you post, the more chances you have to get noticed.

So here we go. You know the rules and what’s at stake, now start talking.

Let’s just hope this championship will bring out a much higher quality of play than we just witnessed in the NBA Finals. Dear God that was horrible, wasn’t it?

Good luck to you all, may the most talented commenter win.

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  1. hopeinglory
    June 23, 2010 at 8:12 PM

    I am a fan of lists. Everybody is. How do you think VH1 can get away with making a list of the “Top 40 Celebrity Fueds?” Because everyone loves a good (or bad) list. Luckily for you, the discerning reader of NotinHD.com, I am not opening The King of Commenting competition with a list of “The Top 10 things I’d rather shove forcefully into my eyeballs instead of looking at Justin Bieber’s ridiculous face one more time.” (VH1 should give that list a try.) But, alas, I am opening the competition with the “Top 5 Opening Events in Sports.” What will be #1? Read on…

    #5 – The Daytona 500

    How did NASCAR make the list? I mean, unless you have a Confederate Flag tattooed somewhere only a banana hammock would cover, you are probably wondering how NASCAR even got a mention on this site. But how could The Daytona 500 not make this list? The Daytona 500 is the greatest auto race in the world. (Because let’s be honest no one wants to see some sleazy Euro-trash pour milk all over themselves…) And it opens the proverbial Bud Light can that is the NASCAR season for all you banana-hammock wearing, Confederate Flag tattooed, rednecks out there. No other sport runs their premier event at the beginning of their season. For that reason, Daytona cracks my top 5.

    #4 – “The Play-In Game”

    This game, while typically pointless and futile, is on this list for all that it signifies. Other than the World Cup, March Madness is responsible for (arguably) the most exciting two weeks in sports…and this is the game that starts the Madness.

    #3 – Fantasy Football Draft Day

    “Wait just a gosh darn minute! Fantasy Football ain’t no sport!” You’re probably thinking something similar to this right about now. (I mention one thing about NASCAR and now the rednecks are taking over the place?!) But let me explain. Fantasy Football, for those who participate in such tomfoolery, is the unofficial opening of the NFL season. Most drafts are held in mid to late August and signify that the dawn of the American Football season is literally right around the corner. And even if Fantasy Football is not a real sport, Draft Day is typically the most exciting part of your Fantasy Football season. Unlike Fantasy Baseball, your Fantasy Football season hinges (due to the length of the NFL season) on how well you draft…and therefore cracks the top 3 of this list.

    #2 – Opening Day (MLB)

    “Summer means many different things to different people. To some it might mean the thrill of a high speed catamaran. Others like to float around and soak up a few stray rays. Still others like some kind of inland activity. But for us, it’s the sport of BASEBALL.” Ok, this quote from “The Endless Summer” was supposed to end with the word “surfing,” but you wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t told you. Baseball, unlike any other sport, ushers in an actual SEASON. SUMMER. No more school. Barbecues. The crack of the bat in ballparks all over the country. Bliss. Ahhh…Opening Day. Just thinking about it fills me with feelings of splendid euphoria. So what could top the boys of summer? How about…

    #1 – The King of Commenting Competition

    Duh. I mean what greater event is there in all of sports. Jim Rome’s Smack-Off is like Justin Bieber to the King of Commenting’s Metallica. Its like comparing Bill Simmons to Ben Bates. Or comparing Chris Berman to Britton Dennis. Its not even close. This is the premier opening event of the entire sporting universe. No question. Anything less would be a travesty of grave proportions; Worse than Barry Sanders’ early retirement; Worse than Pete Rose betting on baseball; Worse than Barry Bonds breaking the all time home run record; If the King of Commenting didn’t snag the #1 spot, we would be on the brink of sports Armageddon.

    So there you have it. “The Top 5 Opening Events in Sports.” I’ll be back later…I just realized I have some brown stuff on my nose…

  2. rootman34
    June 23, 2010 at 10:36 PM

    Before I even get started……”hopeinglory”, you have more brown stuff on your nose than Tim Robbins escaping from Shawshank Prison. Oh, and P.S., comparing Britton to The Swami was freaking genious.

    Anyway, I personally am very excited for this year’s “King of Commenting Competition”. Last year, I know I freaking choked…bad. Like “Trevor Hoffman circa 2010” bad. Like “the Boston Celtics” bad. Like “Ben Bates thinking Willie Mays was a switch hitter” bad. (I know I’ve already used that in a previous post, but it’s so freaking delicious, I couldn’t help myself.)

    And that brings me to notinhd.com itself. Guys, this is an awesome site. The majority of the pieces are extremely well written. And, of course, by guys, I mean Ben Bates. Seriously, I feel like I haven’t read a piece from Dan since before Rick Reilly became irrelevant. Yes Rick, we know, Josh Hamilton was a heroin junkie. Dear freaking Lord. I still hear him saying that in my sleep at night. (Shudder). Nick Nevares… where do I start? I think I’d rather stick a golf pencil in my ear than read another article about your love life. Cory, welcome back! Now that soccer is officially “cool” to watch again, you have been resurrected. Hopefully it won’t take Alexi Lalas coming out of retirement to get you to write again. Seriously though, aside from a friend I made in Sao Paolo, I have NEVER met someone as excited about soccer as Cory. I’ll bet when Brandy Chastain ripped off her jersey in the middle of the field, he disappeared for two days and came back with carpal tunnel and a blister. And Britton, you write a piece every now and then, but I don’t feel the passion. Where’s the guy who used to drive the old ’89 hooptie of a Taurus and didn’t care? Where’s the guy who used to go on 3:00 AM Santana’s runs and push the crosswalk button so the traffic light would turn red for oncoming cars? I miss that guy. B-Love, bring him back.

    Gentlemen, may the best man win in this year’s competition. Now I’m off to finish my Sam Adams and watch Baseball Tonight. Peace!

  3. kmldog777
    June 29, 2010 at 3:14 PM

    Is it necessary to declare my intentions of entering the 2010 king of commenting contest? I should probably boycott but then there would only appear to be two people in the contest, and that is not even really a contest. And with hopeinglory appearing to be this years stew(which means he will win based on multiple entries and not interesting entries) I most likely will have no chance. Anyways with me and editor Dan having cooled off in this seasons fantasy baseball season I figured I may not be blacklisted like Elaine from Hop Sing’s. Anyways it’s on, and let punctuation not count against us!

  4. hopeinglory
    June 29, 2010 at 9:50 PM

    kmldog777, your imaginary voice is more insidiously annoying than a stadium full of vuvuzelas. I feel like arguing with you is like arguing with my two year old…there is no logic to your arguments and you only mimic what you’ve heard others say. But, just like my two year old, you need to be shown who’s boss every once in awhile, especially when you step out of line and embarrass me in public. So when you throw a tantrum in the checkout line at the grocery store like you did in your previous comment, I will reply accordingly: “No, kmldog777, you can’t have that candy bar. And, since you insist on throwing a tantrum in the checkout line so that all every other person in the store will pay attention to your immaturity, I will have to take you out to the car and give you a spanking.” I won’t sink so low as to discredit your comment based on your complete lack of punctuation or grammar. Or your complete lack of ability do simple math (as of the posting of your comment, I have exactly one official entry in the King of Commenting competition…same as you.) However, I will discredit your comment based on its overall suckiness. I mean what exactly did you accomplish with that last post (other than show your immaturity and set yourself up to get a beat down)? I suppose in this competition you will probably play the role of free agent Amare Stoudemire in this year’s King of Commenting Competition. You so badly want to play with the big boys, but you’re just not worth the max contract. You want to have “secret” summit meetings with the likes of Lebron and D-Wade, but behind all those flashy dunks, you’re still a guy who won’t play D and (once you leave Phoenix) you won’t have Steve Nash feeding you the rock for easy points. Unfortunately for us (and probably the Knicks) SOMEONE will give you that max deal. Which means, even though the World Cup is over in a couple weeks, we will probably have to listen to the incessant drone of those bloody vuvuzelas for another few months…

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