Bob Sanders Messed With NM Women’s Soccer, Now Needs Tim Lincecum’s Weed
Hey, look at that. I just combined the three top stories of Friday into one blog title. ZOMG. It’s a busy sports weekend, with a full plate of basketball and football to satiate even the most hardened baseball fan. By the way, let me repeat what I’ve told several people this week.
Alex Rodriguez: World Series Champion.
Bobby Sanders once again finds himself out for the year as he tore something off something else and they couldn’t tape it back together quickly enough to get him back on the field. The more time that Sanders loses due to injury, the less tolerant I am of the revered status he has amongst the football media. We get it, he’s death incarnate. But he’s ALWAYS hurt.
If you watched Sportscenter for more than 30 seconds yesterday, you probably saw my girl Elizabeth Lambert of the New Mexico women’s soccer team. Turns out, a forearm to the chest is all she needed to reveal her inner Chyna. Lambert was quickly suspended indefinitely by UNM officials, who no doubt wanted to see their athletes off the media cycle as soon as possible. Elizabeth, you didn’t let us down. The public school system did.
The Yankees celebrated their purchase of their 27th world championship on Friday, in front of thousands of screaming fans who probably never saw a game in person this season. Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and Alex Rodriguez delighted the crowd, while all paying homage to their Lords, the Steinbrenner family. Elsewhere, the nation celebrated the victory of the gutsy underdog who gave it all they got, clawing for each… whatever. I hate the Yankees.
Finally, pitcher Tim Lincecum is already working on a way to get out of trouble for his arrest over the weekend for marijuana possession. Lincecum, the current Cy Young award winner and current holder of the “Most Likely to Look Like a Pot Smoker” award, has a deal in place to only pay a $250 fine with the other charges dismissed. Law enforcement officials want to assure you, the tax paying public, that this would be the case for anyone in his situation, not just because he’s a celebrity. But for you gluttons of justice, Lincecum still has to pay the $122 speeding ticket.