The Most Important Day of the Year – Thanks L.A.
My nerves are shot – my spinal cord has been sending shock waves throughout my system all day, causing more vibrations than a TMZ staff cellphone in a Los Angeles earthquake.
Ironic, since L.A. is to blame for my unstable condition.
I’m a Clippers fan…
(Go ahead and make your jokes, I’ll wait.)
(And we’re good? … We’re good. Cool.)
(You son-of-a-b, you sandbagged me. You’re not done – you’re still crackin’ on Dunleavy. This could take a while. I’m going to go find some hooch, maybe a rum and coke, or maybe just straight Jack. I’ll need it tonight.)
I don’t blame you for laughing, it is funny, in a pathetic, sad sort of way. At least I have your sympathy. It’s worth more than my wife charges (She charges in manicures and facials) for psychiatric counseling after each Clippers game I watch. I don’t watch many – I can’t afford to, mentally or financially.
But today is different. It has to be. It’s a monumental day. It has to be. It’s the day that changes our luck. It has to be.
Because if it isn’t (Like all the other draft lotteries.), if L.A. doesn’t get the first pick, well, it will be a long year, like it usually is. (I know, I know… it has to be.)
The only way the Clips can’t screw up their 2009 draft, like they manage to do year after year, is to win the lottery and be forced to take University of Oklahoma forward, Blake Griffin.
Griffin is bursting with talent, which of course automatically rules him out for playing in red and white jerseys in the Staples Center.
But cross your fingers tonight and say a little prayer, that the Clippers may somehow be thrown a rope, so as to pull themselves out of the pit of quicksand they have made their home in.
Do it for Clipper fans. Do it for me.