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Got Mail?: Preview

Bears love honey, but they also love the Got Mail? blog.

Bears love honey, but they also love the Got Mail? blog.

It’s been too long since our last Got Mail? blog. Our inbox is starting to get full, which is when I know it’s time to power up, and pump out another edition. And knowing is half the battle.

If you haven’t sent in an e-mail and would like to, do it do it Lars! Pop me an e-mail, because this is going to be the one you will want your question to appear in. I will have a special guest joining me, and you aren’t going to want to miss it.

As for now, let’s plow into the first question.

Randall K., San Diego

What is the proper way to respond to a nagging spouse when it comes to your fantasy team? I think my wife thinks I’m having an affiar because whenever i get a text I run to the phone like a 13 year-old girl finally getting called by that cute boy — I wonder if he noticed my pink top… was my hair messed up in math? — What just happened?… I’m always running off checking my Hotmail. Seriously, my marriage is at stake. Help me Bates.

Ben: The beautiful thing is Randall from San Diego just gave us the perfect analogy for fantasy sports – it’s like an affair.

Think about it. If you’re married, what’s the first thing you do when your wife leaves the house? You fire up good ol’ Yahoo! Sports and get to crackin’. You then start neurotically sending e-mails to your league hoping some trade proposal will stick.

Odds are your wife doesn’t want you “wasting” time on your “team” so you try and sneak in a few texts here, and  some e-mails there, and maybe even a peak or two at your Blackberry while at your in-laws for dinner.

And just like an affair, her senses are so keen she can seemingly smell it on you. “YOU PLAYED FANTASY TODAY!!!”

You have to make excuses when a league member calls to talk deal.

(phone rings)

Wife: “Honey who is it?”

You: “…..uh…. it’s Ted.”

Wife: That’s not the guy from your…

You: “… No.. no, of course this isn’t about fantasy (quickly walking towards the garage), he’s just… umm… (opening the door) having marital problems (slightly sweating, searching for words)… and needs to…  talk… (door slams shut, and you’re home free).

So as you can see, us married guys have a problem. What’s the solution? Oh, Randall from San Diego, if only their was one.

The best you can do, is be a man and get your fix out in the open. Sure, she may withhold certain..umm.. privileges from you and you may find yourself in charge of dinner more often, but that’s why the good Lord gave us hot wings and beer.

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  1. wstuchell
    March 8, 2009 at 4:08 PM

    I must agree Ben that playing fantasy sports is like an addiction or an affair. Which makes me wonder how your wonderful blushing bride has handled it. Did she know about your problem before she married you, or did she figure it out afterward? More importantly Ben, how does she feel when she asks you what you’re thinking about, and you say your team’s plummeting k/9?

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