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Just Manny and Me

Keeping up with Manny Ramirez isn't as easy as it sounds.

Keeping up with Manny Ramirez isn't as easy as it sounds.

In keeping with the spirit of NIHD’s ‘Manny Watch ’09’ I decided to have a sit-down with the dread locked slugger himself.

What’s that? You say it’s completely unfathomable that a Joe-Shmoe blogger such as myself could ever have an opportunity to interview Manny Ramirez?

C’mon, at the very least my credibility is equal to that of T.J. Simers.

Anyway, where was I? That’s right, sitting down with Manny.

We decided to meander down to The Strand to uh, you know, keep it casual and such.

I commented that if nothing else Manny could count on great weather and hot babes if he decides to extend his tenure in So-Cal.

“Are you serious? I’m married dude. But yeah, the weather’s pretty great out here. What’s with that bright yellow thing in the sky though? It’s always up there, I never saw anything like it in Boston in the winter.”

Ok, so he never mentioned the sun. He did however have plenty to say about the attention he has received from the fairer sex while in LA.

“The girls man! They are always like, ‘Oh Manny, oh, you rock me right Papi!’ It’s awesome, but they don’t know me from David Ortiz or something.”

Umm, right. I had to ask him about his agent Scott Boras and his seemingly unattainable quest of finding Manny a $100 million plus deal over four or five years. The Boston based media has always painted Man-Ram as an aloof nut-job who cares only for dollar signs.

“Nah man, that’s not really me at all. Sure I like money. Who doesn’t? But $100 million? I don’t care about that, I spend that much money in a week anyway.”

What the…? Yeah… that doesn’t quite compute. Whatever, it must be Manny-being-Manny. What about not wanting to sign a contract under four years, Manny? The Dodgers have either offered you two with an option, or three depending which version of the story people choose to believe.

“I want to play baseball until I’m like 50, all grey dreads and wrinkled. Four years man? Nah, I’ll take whatever, I still have like four more contracts left in me.”

Let it be known Manny did in fact say contracts and not paydays. I know, I was surprised too.

What about hard feelings? Will Manny still play hard, if he is forced to accept a short term deal, based on the apparent lack of interest from other clubs?

The fans in LA want to make sure Manny won’t stiff them on the tip if he feels short changed by Frank McCourt.

“You mean like in restaurants and stuff?”

I explained to him, I was talking about his play suffering, and other general clubhouse distractions he is said to cause from time to time (whatever that means anyway) as well.

Give Manny credit though, he seems to believe all of those days are behind him, remaining in Beantown when he left for greener pastures.

“I’m here to play baseball man, not distract people and stuff. I mean, if they pay me enough money and I sign a contract to stay here and all.”

Got ya. So money is a factor. Regardless, I tried to sell him on staying in LA, you know, since Ned Colletti seams to be incapable of doing so himself.

Great food, the ocean, enough prominent people around to pull the spotlight off him in unwanted times, and yet a large enough media market to give him the attention and publicity a star like Manny deserves, and a night life with enough possibilities to cause Pacman Jones’ brain to combust into flames when thinking about all of them.

“Yeah man, I like that Pacman guy. He’s a funny guy. I would love to hang out with him.”

Yikes… I didn’t think Manny would even know who Pacman was, let alone want to spend some quality after-hours time with him.

“Yeah, he’s the funny looking yellow dude, with the ghosts and those little white things he eats. I’d love to hang out with that dude.”

A sigh of relief to say the least. That could have been a bad combination.

After that Manny didn’t want to talk much more about baseball, instead focusing on the little birds in the sky, and the white candy they seemed to be dropping from the sky into crowds. Apparently he wanted some of that candy.

All in all, it was an extremely enlightening experience with Manny. What, you still don’t believe me?

Than get this…

Also like T.J. Simers, I had an uncomfortable encounter regarding sitting on Manny’s lap, only it wasn’t Manny who made the request, and it didn’t go over very well.

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  1. Jeremiah
    January 9, 2009 at 5:36 AM

    Wow Ben, you really are starting to creep me out with sitting on laps and stuff like that. I thought you were straight, since you are married…right? All in all nice post.

  2. Will
    January 8, 2009 at 10:49 PM

    It’s nice to see that Ben Bates has decided to show himself on this forum. Here I was just starting to wonder when the awkward bromance between Ben and Manny would be brought to light. Maybe you can convince Manny to go to your true favorite team, Seattle.

  3. Doug
    January 9, 2009 at 2:21 PM

    Yeah, I had Manny sit on my lap once.

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