Ol’ Man River, Dat Ol’ Man River…

In a move that could either be as successful as a Bartolo Colon cold turkey crash diet or so great that Bill Simmons gets to write that 3rd book he always wanted, former Atlanta Braves starter/closer/savior John Smoltz is rumored to be signing with the Boston Red Sox today in an incentive laden short-term deal.

Smoltz was apparently not pleased with an offer by the Braves that without incentives, was barely more than a minor-league deal.

I guess he’s been rather important in their history or something. I don’t know, I’m not Tim Kurkjian.

So Smoltz will be in a position to either be the 5th starter for the Sox or a potential 7th-8th inning bridge for Jonathan Papelbon. In my mind right now, I’m picturing Bobby Cox holding a framed head shot of Smoltz against his chest, rocking back and forth in his chair, whispering “I loved you the most, John.”

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