Ol’ Man River, Dat Ol’ Man River…
In a move that could either be as successful as a Bartolo Colon cold turkey crash diet or so great that Bill Simmons gets to write that 3rd book he always wanted, former Atlanta Braves starter/closer/savior John Smoltz is rumored to be signing with the Boston Red Sox today in an incentive laden short-term deal.
Smoltz was apparently not pleased with an offer by the Braves that without incentives, was barely more than a minor-league deal.
I guess he’s been rather important in their history or something. I don’t know, I’m not Tim Kurkjian.
So Smoltz will be in a position to either be the 5th starter for the Sox or a potential 7th-8th inning bridge for Jonathan Papelbon. In my mind right now, I’m picturing Bobby Cox holding a framed head shot of Smoltz against his chest, rocking back and forth in his chair, whispering “I loved you the most, John.”
Wait, you’re not Tim Kurkjian? Bobby Cox rocking back and forth … next to Leo Mazzone could probably create enough power to run a small Washington state village